How the Lord Used Jury Duty to Further Heal Me

On February 4th, I woke up earlier than usual to make a 45 minute drive to Denton County’s courthouse. Why? Because I had been summoned to appear for jury duty. When the letter first arrived in the mail, unlike the majority of people who groan in annoyance, I jumped for joy. I had never been called upon for jury duty before and so I was excited to see what it was all about. I took time picking out an outfit to wear, trying not too look too professional, but not look like a bum at the same time. Made sure to leave a half hour earlier than needed to make sure I’d arrive on-time (I’m notorious for being late to everything, and getting lost).

As I drove to the courthouse, a sudden wave of panic arose within me. It took me by surprise, so I turned off the music I was listening to and started to think and pray about why I was having this fear rise up from the depths. Then it hit me. The last time I was at a courthouse was when I was 18 years old, terrified, on the verge of crying, and testifying against my dad. Back then, I had a small army of believers and family with me, praying me through. So I prayed “Lord, please use this time of jury duty to further heal me from the scars of my past.”

This was a very unexpected turn of events. What had started off as a fun venture into the unknown became a series of flashbacks, sweaty palms, and a strange sense of accomplishment. I hadn’t had flashbacks like this since the year following the moment I finally released the pent up story of my past. The Lord has healed me so much, and I had forgotten that the road to being fully healed is a long one. That is, until I started reading Mary DeMuth’s “Not Marked”. Praise the Lord that He has reminded me that I am still dependent on His grace and healing and I can’t do this on my own.

The first few steps I took across the parking lot to the courthouse building were rather timid, but as I released my fears to the Lord I entered the doors with confidence, knowing that I am not alone. Jury duty was rather boring at first. I walked into a big room with hundreds of chairs and not that many people. So I checked in and then made my way to the very back corner of the room so I could get a better view of what was transpiring in the jury selection hall. Soon the room filled to standing room only and a man came out and said that we only needed 244 of the crowd to stay to sit on jury.

After a short video to explain jury duty to those who were newbies like me, the guy came back and started to read off names of those who would be staying. One Indian guy who was sitting next to me asked if I thought he could get out of jury duty because he travels every week, I told him I had no clue. Then we came to the last list of names and my name hadn’t been called yet so I was thinking, “Alright Lord, I guess You just wanted me to trust You to get me through this section and I can go back to work.” Then my name was called, “Alexandrea Wessner” and I quietly said/wimpered my “here” and waited for more instructions. As I made my way to the hallway to collect my red “ticket” that told me where to go next, I saw a familiar friendly face. One of the ladies from Gospel for Asia had been summoned too! Unfortunately she hadn’t been called like me, so she went home after we exchanged hugs, but it was nice to have a friendly face in the crowd of strangers who didn’t want to be there.

After about 20 minutes, the bailiff came in and took the 32 of us to the courtroom we where we would be questioned and eliminated. Walking to the courtroom, I felt like my feet were like lead. So I kept praying “Lord help, Lord help, please help.” We all gathered outside the courtroom and they called our names in the order we would be staying in for the elimination process. I was first. So I got to walk into the courtroom first and find my seat to the far front right as the lawyers stared, not smiling, judging me and the other jurors the entire time. I felt so small, till my row slowly filled up. An hour of random questions later, and a few jurors making ridiculous comments and claims to get out of being chosen, we had a break for lunch.

I ate at Wendy’s because I couldn’t find anything else around. I don’t think I will ever eat out alone again… was so lonely! I was tempted to ask the elderly group a few tables away if I could join them just for company. Though, the kids meal toy was entertaining.

After lunch we all piled back into the courtroom to be bombarded by more questions as the lawyers tried to feel us out and eliminate those they felt wouldn’t help their case. Soon, it was time for the elimination process. As we were waiting in the hallway for the lawyers and judge to eliminate, I saw this elderly lady, who was one of the jurors with me, reading a book by Charles Stanley called “Finding Peace”. Again, I felt the Lord encouraging me through even the title of the book she was reading!

Filing back into the courtroom, I had a feeling that I would be picked to sit on the jury. I don’t know how, but I somehow knew. Though I wasn’t prepared for them calling my name first. That was really weird. Walking through the door that divided the floor of the courtroom from the seats we were sitting in, following the bailiff to the jury box and finding my seat first. I couldn’t help myself, I was shaking a bit. Had to bite my lip to stop it from quivering as I sat there waiting for the other jurors to join me.

The rest of that day was a lot less stressful. The bailiff took us back to the juror room and we got the low-down on what was expected of us, we got our juror badges, and then went back into the courtroom to hear the first part of the trial. It was a case that was really low in Civil court, so it wasn’t a murder case or theft, it was a lawsuit. One lady was suing another lady for injuries that supposedly occurred in a car crash from late November 2009. Which I found interesting because 2009 was the year I sat in court against my dad. Coincidence? I think not.

We listened to both sides for about an hour and then were dismissed to go home for the evening, but since it wasn’t over, we had to show up bright and early again the next day. So I went home and the next morning dressed a lot more comfortable than I had dressed the day before. This time when we got in the courtroom, it went a lot faster and before we knew it, we were back in the juror room discussing all the evidence that we were presented. It was a very easy decision on most of our parts, but we took a little longer discussing it than needed to ease the minds of those who had entrusted this decision to us as a jury. After about an hour of discussion, of which I’m surprised how much I spoke my opinion, we had 11 to 1 voting against the lady who was suing.

Back in the courtroom, we said what we believed the evidence showed and the lady came away with absolutely nothing. I kinda felt bad for her because she was obviously in pain because she had a degenerative disk disease, but she was not injured in the accident itself. So we were released from our jury duties and dismissed to the jury room again. In came the bailiff and the judge as they told us stories from prior cases and answered our questions.

Later, in the hallway by the elevators, the lawyers met us and asked us how they could improve in what they do and what we all thought about the case. I was tempted to tell them that each time one of them spoke I started to believe their side of the case even if what the other said right before made so much sense. Talk about tricky lawyers! Either that or I’m just too gullible…. Which could very well be the case.

As we took the elevators down to the parking lot, one of the lawyers stopped me as I was exiting and asked me about my mission work. He was like, “Hey! I wanted to ask you. Where do you work?” I said, “I actually work at Gospel for Asia out of Carrollton.” To which he said, “Do you travel places?” I responded, “Well, I went to India once but that was more of a ‘vision tour’ to see what is happening and such over there.” Then he asked, “Do you know any other languages?” I laughed and said, “None that I’m fluent in, but I do know a few words here and there in other languages.” Then he said thanks and walked away. I smiled and walked the other way thinking to myself “that was a tad odd, but cool at the same time.”

And so ended my jury duty experience. I later got $46 in the mail for my services, and my heart has healed significantly from the Lord walking me through that adventure. I look forward to my next journey to jury duty, if I ever get called on again. It’s cool how God really does use everything to grow you closer to Himself and to heal you from past pains.